Hello, Sunshine.

I have somewhat returned! And, to the several spam-bloggers who track keywords on the internet… I am glad you’re still reading. Yes, I officially suck at blogging.

I’ve been really feeling the lack on inspiration, and having some major ups and downs in the real world. So, despite the writers block, I’m going to have to write what I know.

In lieu of my crazy life, the thought on my mind is about when you’re in college and you have several projects/exams/papers all exploding at once and you have a catastrophe in your personal life–how do you cope? This of course applies to those with real jobs too. It happens to everyone.

I don’t have one answer, because in all honestly I would probably say that I pull through and just do my best. I am not someone who can usually pull off a 4.0, and write stellar papers while I wipe the tears from my eyes. I just accept that some things are more important than school. And having time for my emotions is critical.

But, what about when its about passing or failing? A few things that work for me:

-schedule set time, at a set place for working. even just in little blocks, like 20 minutes. set other specific times to be with the difficult stuff. so I call my sister, watch tv, take a walk, do whatever to rest my mind

-keep going! even if mentally I feel like I am failing myself, and not doing well enough, I just keep doing the above… because usually, when a real deadline is looming, i can get over it for long enough to handle the work and then get back to feeling

-if it is just too much…drop it. talk to your professor, boss, school counselors, parters, whoever and see if you can work something out. You can always re-take a dropped class!

If you have any thoughts or experiences please share

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Is there a word for when reality of your life gets flipped upside down, knocked against a wall, and spun around on its head seven times?

If there is, I would use it to describe some recent events in my life.

I will be back to blogging soon!

Matters of the heart have taken priority to writing. I have been out-letting with writing, drawing, coloring, cleaning, and talking. All is about 95% better (and on some days even better than before).

I’ll be back soon.

Love,

Sunshine

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so I cannot properly introduce this video and how clever I think it is…. so here you are — pure brilliance

(via Kate Harding)

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[cozy like these baby ducks! thank you shesnuckinfuts via flickr.com]

Last week my mom and sister came to visit, overlapping with my final exams for winter quarter. It was overwhelming to say the least, alternating between family and school mode, then jumping right into entertaining the fam the moment school was done. So, when they left on Sunday, it was time to find my cozy time. I’ve been taking this entire week to recharge my batteries for spring quarter.

So what does cozy look like?

It looks like doing whatever the hell I want.

For example, yesterday I stayed in my pajamas all day long. I re-discovered my joy of coloring, and have been doing grid/mosaic prints while listening to music round the clock. I alternate between by bed and desk, watching Oprah, talking to friends on the phone, or cooking up the most basic of meals. I’m choosing my pleasure about all else, neglecting errands that probably should be run, and simply recharging. Not thinking, not working, not worrying.

Just being.

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I’m going to start posting about college/ending high school from time to time. I really wish I had had someone sane to talk to during the college application process. I recall everyone in my senior class flipping out over it, filled with indecision and worry. There is a lot of fear of making the wrong choices, so I would like to share some of my experiences and insights having survived the application process and as a happy college student.

-choosing a college isn’t that big of a deal. It might seem like you’re committing to marry an institution for the next four years, but the reality is that MANY people transfer. I did. So did all of the girls in my group of friends from freshman year. It’s a pain, but I can say every single one of us is happier at our current schools.  It can be really hard to know a school before attending it. Tours, overnights, and talking to students all certainly help, but you can’t know a school until you’ve attended it. That said, choose the place you resonate with most, and understand its not a big deal to change your plans.

-do you WANT to go to college? Thats a loaded question for most kids who are financially able to attend university, because we have this whole notion that a degree is an absolute must to ever have a job. That is certainly true if you desire a traditional job. But is a traditional job for you? Does college make you cringe? Is it the last thing you want to do? If that is you, consider the fact that not everyone has to go to school, or start immediately after finishing high school. If thoughts of college make ya nauseous, consider these ideas:

• Look into less traditional schools. Lecture halls with 300 students aren’t for everyone, and there are some great schools where that isn’t the norm. For example, Hampshire (Massachusetts) and Evergreen State College are examples of schools where each student designs their own curriculum and is are graded with written evaluations, not letter grades. My older sister went to Hampshire and she said that she was much more prepared for graduate school with everything she had learned working independently there. Also schools like Oberlin, Vassar, The Eugene Lang New School for Liberal Arts, Reed, and many others are worth looking into.
• Consider taking a year abroad before starting college. I know many students who have done this, and I couldn’t recommend it more. Going abroad is life-altering, and it’ll allow you to grow up, and find more possibilities. When I was abroad, I found a wider scope of possibility for myself; once I was out of my little home bubble, I saw that there are lots of amazing people and cool opportunities out there.
• Take a gap year and get a job. Being in the real world is a huge opportunity to see what you want to do, and what credentials you will need to accomplish it.
• Is college not for you? That is certainly possible. I know several very successful individuals who don’t have a degree. They are highly motivated, goal oriented people though. But you could be a chef, write books, teach classes, be a motivational speaker, and run your own business without a degree. This option is definitely not for everyone, but I like to remind people it exists. Keep in mind though, that even if its the right path for you, skills such as writing and basic math are extremely important so a few college classes would probably be useful.

If you definitely WANT to go to school, but you just don’t know where that is perhaps a trickier situation:

•  Ask yourself what you love, right now. If you imagine this past week, when were you happiest (nont including sleeping, tv, or the weekend)? When someone asked me this question during my senior year of high school, I stared at her for several minutes unable to find anything. Until I saw the sole time — during French class. It was the only thing in school that I loved. So I based by college search around French, and study abroad opportunities. It is not what I’m doing now, but it was where I had to start. If you start with what you love, and stay committed to following what you love, you will find your best school, best degree, and best job. So find the thing you think you love most, and research that, pursue that.
• Think about logistics. It may sound cliche, but thinking about where you will be most comfortable is essential. Do you want to stay close, or get away? If you imagine a big school, would you find it comforting to have a degree of anonymity or do you want everyone to know your name? Are you overwhelmed by  crowds? Do you want to be able to live off campus, do you want to stick with a meal plan, do you want to be able to provide your own food? Think about what you want, because every college has different options for its students. Some schools are very isolated, some very urban. It’s important to find your comfort zone.
• Talk to as many people as possible. Talk to people who went to the school, or ideally who attend it currently. Ask them the questions that you have. Talk to their advisers, and find out more about their programs and opportunities.

Mostly, I would just encourage students to find somewhere they feel happy. To follow their joy. It might seem ideological, but it works. All of the wildly successful and happy people that I know follow this principle. Feel free to ask any questions by e-mail or comments and I’ll happily respond.

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I honestly have a certain love for fashion magazines. I like to look at them… really, really closely. What are they saying to me? what are they telling me to feel? How are they portraying women? Here is a peek at Glamour, April 2008:

138 fashion models are featured in ads throughout the 362 page magazine

1 is Asian

7 are Hispanic

6 are African American

124 are Caucasian

(In defense of Glamour, there is significantly more diversity in the models used for the spreads and articles)

The cover promises “Major Beauty Miracles”

(… how many women are honestly in need of a miracle in their appearance?)

The magazine offers articles on how to learn to:

-mix prints like a pro

-make vests more feminine

-wear the seasons HOTTEST COLORS

-find your perfect bra

-find your best haircolor

…..(tres original i say)

1 advertisement featuring plus-sized models

1 genuinely interesting article with Eve Ensler interviewing Salma Hayek. I liked this.

1 advertisement featuring a white picket fence, all American, white mom, white dad, 2 children image

at least 1 ad for prescription birth control; 1 for std control

2 ads for cosmetic surgery

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I have received some requests for the recipes from photos I posted a while back, which I am happy to share. I tend to be really off the cuff when I work in the kitchen, so the suggestions are just guidelines, but here you go.

To make a raw zucchini pasta, you start with fresh raw zucchini or yellow squash. I tend to make this dish spring through fall, mostly when zucchini are abundant. Depending on the size, I usually estimate about one medium zucchini per person. Then, you’ll need a saladacco or other spiralizing machine. I got mine from amazon:

This step is pretty quick, and if they’re organic I usually leave the peel on. If I want it to look more like traditional pasta, I peel it. Once it is spiralized, I like to massage it with some sea salt, and then let it strain for an hour. If I’m short on time, I skip this step. So, now you have your pasta.

[image from massdistraction via their flickr]

For the sauce:

• 1 cup soaked sun-dried tomatoes (squeeze the water out)
• 1/2 cup fresh chopped tomatoes (squeeze any extra water out)
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• Sea salt, pinch cayenne pepper
• 1 slice of onion
• 1 tsp lemon juice
• fresh oregano, basic, thyme to taste
• squeeze of raw agave nectar

In a food processor, pulse both the tomatoes together. Add all the herbs and condiments (including the onion). Blend the olive oil in while the food processor is blending. Adjust seasonings to taste. Use these as guidelines, and adjust as you please! Serve right away and enjoy the best pasta ever

[p.s. If you’re looking for the recipe for the yummy looking pie in the original post, I never wrote it down! It was a spontaneous creation, so I have no recipe to post here.]

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When I travel, I like to buy a magazine. I don’t read them often but it’s a long standing tradition I have with myself, and it always proves to amuse and enlighten, particularly by looking at the ads. On my most recent trip, I picked the Marie Claire with a pregnant Cristina Aguilara on the cover. No reason except that I find MC to be less offensive than some of the others.

I didn’t think much of the photos at first. I thought that she looks beautiful, despite it being an odd juxtaposition to see a very pregnant woman in such a sexual glamorous pose. Tonight my friend picked it up from the bookshelf, and remarked on how airbrushed the photos look, and how she doesn’t look pregnant at all if not for the baby mound. I looked at the photos again and imagined them from a different angle — how about that of a real pregnant woman, looking at this magazine and having thoughts that SHE should look more like THAT. That perhaps SHE had gained too much weight, that she should look different, that she was doing something wrong. In a time when a woman’s body is changing and vulnerable, it seems unfair that a magazine print images with such unrealistic and sexual connotations of pregnancy.

I don’t think I would find such fault with the MC photos if they weren’t so air brushed. Seeing a thin and beautiful pregnant woman isn’t necessarily going to breed negative self-esteem. I found Demi Moore’s nude pregnant cover on Vanity Fair to be beautiful and authentic.

So is it just me, or what is it about these Christina Aguilara photos that just seem off?

[p.s. this is way old, i forgot to post it…]

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[I read this poem yesterday, and it struck a deep chord — after 5x it’s still developing meaning. Soo I suggest multiple reads. Enjoy!]

Sometimes from sorrow,
for no reason
you sing.
For no reason,
you accept the way of being lost,
cutting loose from all else and electing a world where you go where you want to.
Arbitrary, sound comes,
a reminder
that a steady center is holding all else.
If you listen, that sound will tell you where it is
and you can slide your way past trouble.
Certain twisted monsters always bar the path-
but that’s when you get going best,
glad to be lost,
learning how real it is
here on the earth,
again and again.

William Stafford

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So Kate Harding had this posted, and it struck home so strongly I wanted to re-post it here.

I’m a girl that always thought I was bad at math (not true) and felt very intimidated by the boys in my classes through school. Now obviously this had something to do with my own confidence in my abilities, since not every girl I went to school with felt the same way, but in my experience this really does happen. BUT it seems like more and more women are getting involved in math and science, and this is becoming less of the norm. :)

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