Hello, Sunshine.

I know 2008 doesn’t start for a few days, but I did my main completion for 2007 on the winter solstice (the 21st). It’s an energetically powerful day, and it just felt like the right time (especially since I never feel like doing anything of this sort on new years eve). So how to complete a whole year?

I like to keep it simple. This is my tradition:

I lit a small candle and grabbed several blank pieces of paper. Then one by one, I wrote down all of the things that I wanted to release from 2007. Sickness. Loneliness. Discontent with myself. Then I thanked each item for the role it played in my year, and burned it in the fire place. I followed each one with writing my positive intention for the coming year.

The whole process is really healing. This has been a really hard year. I’ve been tested in what felt like every way possible, and at times things felt unbearable. There was a lot I had on my chest to let go, and it felt really good to watch these negatives shrivel to ash in the fire place. A lot of good has happened to, and I used those moments with the candle to express my gratitude for that. Gratitude is really where it’s at…So thank you 2007 for everything, and I’m really ready to start this coming year!

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I am home for the holidays, and all the farmers markets in this town close shop for the winter. So I’ve been eating about 0.5% local. That small percentage comes from the local kale that is sold at the Whole Foods here. Anyway, I miss my delicious fresh food and the farmers that I’ve gotten to know in this process. I look forward to getting back to school and to the market once again. Stay fresh my friends!

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Somewhere along the line, it became common knowledge that Marilyn Monroe wore a size 16, and since she is a beauty icon, that notion is dropped to make women feel better about their curvy figures. “If Marilyn Monroe wore it, then I should feel good about my size!” Now I don’t disagree with that statement, I think it’s wonderful that she was not a lollipop head icon. However I also find it disempowering to compare myself to Marilyn Monroe because 1) I do not look like her, 2) She had ungodly hourglass proportions.

Additionally, if you use your eyes and look at her, she clearly would not have worn a modern day size 16.

Now it is possible that she wore a size 16. Taking vanity sizing into account, it a size 16 then would probably be a six or an eight today.

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I had a fleeting moment at the grocery store when I left with two nylon sacks and a back pack filled with yummy stuff, feeling very good that I was successfully not using plastic bags. I look at the people around me, all toting their massive bags constructed of plastic, and I feel a moment of disgust. Yes, disgust. Then my mind slaps me on the side reminding me to WAKE UP. Yes it’s awesome I use my own bags much of the time. Yes it would be awesome if everyone else did too. No I am not smarter/superior or a better human being than anyone else because I make that choice. It’s funny too because just several months ago I was an environmentally concerned citizen who got plastic bags at the store. I hadn’t found reusable bags that I liked enough and I liked being able to reuse the plastic. Ah how the wiser and more environmental me would have raked old me over the eco-friendly coals…

I’ve noticed similar feelings when I read a really empowering book or discover a really feel-good way of eating. Suddenly I look around and feel like the way we all live is blasphemous and I must embark on a mission to save us all from our crazy ways and share my new information! And while this enthusiasm and inspiration can be very useful and insightful for those who are interested, it is not my job to change how other people live their lives. Nor am I a “better” person because I make certain choices in how I live my life. I make my choices because they bring me joy, and for no other reason. It’s easy when discovering such things as exciting as environmentalism to latch onto it as part of your identity. And in a way, it IS part of who I am. But what it represents is the part of me that is genuinely concerned both with my own integrity and with a sense of caring about others — which includes all of the animals, trees, our oceans, and future generations.

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Autumn Quarter is OVER.

This quarter was intense. I am really glad to be finished, and by the time finals rolled around I had only minimal to moderate stress because I was too exhausted to care much. I don’t have my final grades yet but I think it all went well.

The biggest thing that helped with my anxiety was prayer and visualization. Call me crazy, but it works. Every night I would visualize myself studying, taking my tests, and doing very well while remaining calm. I imaged reading questions that I didn’t know how to solve, and working them out (instead of panicking!). And before every test, I would say a prayer. I would ask for help from someone greater than me. While I’m not religious it seemed like the appropriate thing to do.

So i immediately jumped into this four day baby course, giving me little time to kick back… but I’m okay with that. I didn’t wear myself out so much that I feel wiped out. I just feel like I could use some sleep…

All in all: I worked incredibly hard, learned a LOT in both knowledge and about myself, discovered many ways to reduce my test anxiety, tried several new things, and met some interesting people. It was a good quarter.

I will do a celebration dance for a job well done…

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I’ve been committed to eating locally for about two months now. Exciting!

This week has been preparation for finals at school, and eating locally has fallen to the way side. I’ve been so busy that taking the time for preparing food is difficult. I have food in my fridge that isn’t being eaten! I’m really seeing how it’s a luxury in a way, for many people to eat naturally and locally. It takes planning, preparation, and lots of time. I have been on a mission to do this affordably and very time efficiently, but its certainly a challenge sometimes.

I find that the rewards are very sweet though. Two months in I notice that I enjoy the food that I eat so much more, as the flavors are more powerful. I enjoy paying for the food so much more, because I KNOW who I’m supporting. I enjoy participating in the natural flow of the seasons, because there has always been something off about eating bananas and coconuts in December in the snow. Even if my selection is more limited, that is how it’s SUPPOSED to be. It brings me back to reality out of the mecca of selection at the modern grocery store, and back in touch with nature.

So this week I’ve been eating less local food, and I can feel the difference. Take out just doesn’t have the vibrancy that fresh local food does.

Yesterday I trekked in the ice cold and bright sun to get some produce before one of my finals. I purchased about nine bunches of kale (the cashier laughed when I got to him, given I had kale up to my chin!), carrots, some raw cheese (this i eat very sparingly, i will share with my friends), plums, and a baby salad mix. All looking incredibly delicious stuffed into my fridge.

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So I’m not really a fan or follower of Ms. JLove, but I have found this little controversy interesting. Jennifer Love Hewitt, former Party of Five actress and always known for her tiny and toned figure, was recently photographed in Hawaii looking “fatter”. Big deal? I don’t think so. But the media did. This past week there has been an overwhelming amount of humor and negativity along the celebrity blogs regarding these photos.

Anyway, Hewitt responded to the negative comments on her myspace blog, and I like what she had to say. (Though I’m a bit on the fence as to whether she is being 100% authentic, or jumping on the ‘love your body’ bandwagon.) Regardless, she is NOT APOLOGIZING for her body.

And why should she?

She writes:

“This is the last time I will address this subject.

I’ve sat by in silence for a long time now about the way women’s bodies are constantly scrutinized. To set the record straight, I’m not upset for me, but for all of the girls out there that are struggling with their body image.

A size 2 is not fat! Nor will it ever be. And being a size 0 doesn’t make you beautiful.

What I should be doing is celebrating some of the best days of my life and my engagement to the man of my dreams, instead of having to deal with photographers taking invasive pictures from bad angles. I know what I look like, and so do my friends and family. And like all women out there should, I love my body.

To all girls with butts, boobs, hips and a waist, put on a bikini — put it on and stay strong.

Xoxo

JLH”

Rock on.

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Dark days have indeed arrived.

I can make a round at the market in about five minutes as the stands are getting smaller, and more farmers stop coming for the winter. I am still very grateful to have a year round market at all though, and shopping takes less time.

Today I purchased one massive bunch of collards, some tiny carrots, five bunches dinosaur kale, some tiny lettuce, “braising mix”, a 20 pound box of cameo apples, a squash, and some dried fruit.

While the selection might be waning, the deliciousness of the greens is off the charts! Last week I got two bunches of kale and I had finished them a day later, so this week I was more prepared and bought much more.
Making a daily 95% local meal is becoming increasingly difficult, because I like to supplement with other ingredients for the sake of flavor. The kale has really been my favorite though, and I’ve been making big bowls of steamed kale with dressing and some avocado. It’s savory and very filling on a cold night.

This week, I plan to enjoy the greens, squash, and all those cameo apples for snacks and fresh juice! Yum.

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