Hello, Sunshine.

Over at Kate Harding, one of the more hardcore body acceptance blogs that I read, Kate has written an absolutely right on the money post about The Fantasy of Being Thin. It’s a bit long, but I highly recommend it. This woman should write a book. Essentially, she is talking about how so often we look to “thin” (or otherwise) as the time when our true inner selves will emerge and we will truly be happy. While thin is the the main focus, it’s anything we’re waiting to be different in ourselves or in our life, where once it changes then we will have the life we really want.

• When I’m thin, I’ll have no trouble finding a partner/reinvigorating my marriage.
• When I’m thin, I’ll have the job I’ve always wanted.
• When I’m thin, I won’t be depressed anymore.
• When I’m thin, I’ll be an adventurous world traveler instead of being freaked out by any country where I don’t speak the language and/or the plumbing is questionable.
• When I’m thin, I’ll become really outdoorsy.
• When I’m thin, I’ll be more extroverted and charismatic, and thus have more friends than I know what to do with.

What she really gets at though, is how so often we lose the appreciation for who we are when we are lost in this false idea of who we should be. If my whole being is focused on the good things that will come “when” I am different, I will never be able to appreciate the person that I am right now, or any of the great opportunities for jobs, relationships, friends, and experiences right now.

I have two parallel images of myself: one is who I actually am, and one is who I fantasize that I could be. You know, the woman who wears bright red high heels, has perfect hair, less body fat, impeccable confidence, can make men weep with her mystery, and women swoon with her charm and humor. Never mind the fact that I despise high heels because I feel awkwardly tall and walk like a toddler, will perpetually have uncontrollable hair because I refuse to succumb to putting chemicals on my body, and honestly feel quite shy around both men and women, and that quiet sweetness is often part of my unique charm. While “fantasy me” might help vamp me up for an interview or date, it isn’t authentically who I am. And so long as I look to this diva character as who I should be, both me and the world are missing out on a lot of the great qualities that are actually me.

Check it out!

Popularity: 4% [?]

Hey lovelies,

This Thanksgiving mini-break has been wonderful and felt quite odd (it’s weird to go from extremely busy to doing nothing in just a blink of an eye… I got used to it very fast!). I enjoyed this break by doing a whole lot of nothing, readily welcoming some “zone out” time to seriously veg and not use my brain for anything.

So tomorrow I go back to school and I have 15 days until my last final exam is complete — the home stretch, final run, the completion of this very hectic quarter. I will not be blogging much because of this, though I might pop in for a few quick thoughts.

Recently though I’ve been thinking and would like some input on where to go with this blog. Currently it’s all over the place (which I actually kind of like) covering anything from my life in school, eating locally, body imagine/body acceptance, environmental tips/thoughts, gratitude,  stress, etc etc etc. Soo if you come around and read this blog… would you like to see more of the same, or greater focus on specific topics? There are many people writing some wonderful blogs about many of the things I mentioned (if not all), that it seems my niche might be in what I know most dearly — writing about being a young, conscious, striving college student wanting to excel at it all. Perhaps I’ll keep it the same, and dedicate different months to covering specific topics in depth? I don’t know, so any input is greatly appreciated! Please comment or e-mail me.

Love & Thanks,

Laura

Popularity: 1% [?]

Today the farmers market felt so bare! While there was still a nice assortment of produce, many of my favorite vendors have packed up for the winter. I got several bunches of picture perfect dinosaur kale, carrots, baby mixed greens (kale, chard, arugula, etc), and some wild bok choy. Sadly there was no organic lettuce! I have a choice now to either supplement with lettuce and other food from the grocery store (more than I have been) or to tough it out and eat kale, cabbage, and potatoes! I’m thinking supplement it…

This week my local meals have been predominantly salads: half a bunch of mixed lettuce (red leaf, romaine, whatever I have), several leaves of finely chopped and lightly steamed kale, and chopped carrots. Then I’ll add some miso dressing and a small handful of pinenuts, and I’m in vegetable heaven! It’s warm and hearty on these cold nights, it fills me up, and creates a very “clean burn” where I feel full and fueled without any negative side effects. Yum!

I’ve also been making a morning juice with kale, parsley, carrots, apples, celery, and ginger. (The celery and ginger are not local). It’s really tasty and has a fresher flavor than juice made with store bought produce.

Popularity: 1% [?]

A few months ago I was flipping channels and I came across a marathon of the old show Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Do you remember this classic? Melissa Joan Hart plays Sabrina Spellman, an average girl who discovers that she is a witch! It was one of my absolute favorites when I was a kid, and coming across it I was of course shocked to discover how bad it really is. Words really cannot describe the corniness of this show.

However what I was most struck by how utterly normal Melissa Joan Hart looked on the show (I couldn’t find any good full body pics!). She wasn’t a skinny lollipop head, or decked out in designer clothes. She looked like a girl I could relate to, in both weight and clothing (granted much older looking than an actual 16 year old). I didn’t realize how conditioned I had become to seeing twenty-somethings playing hyped up teenagers.

Her body looked average, and she had actual body fat! I remember watching this show as a kid and thinking she was so cool (since she’s a witch) and wanting to be like her (so I could do magic). I don’t ever remember thinking she was skinny or fat, because she simply looked like any other woman. I didn’t realize how much TV has really changed, even in the last five to ten years.

I don’t know what kids watch today, but from the blurbs I see in the news it seems to feature very attractive and very skinny girls, who are perfectly primped and always wearing fashionable clothes. I would like to see more relateable young women on TV. Girls DO look up to the women that they see in the media, so I think the media needs to tone it down. Even if sex does sell, do we need to be selling it to 11 year old girls?

Popularity: 90% [?]

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. What are you grateful for?

Right now I’m present to being thankful for…

• Friends and family, even if they’re really far away
• liking school
• the farmers market & their amazing greens
• my sister, in all of her amazingness and how she continues to inspire me and make me laugh
• finding contentment in things that were previously unhappy
• green juice!!
• All of the healing occurring in myself
• all of the healing occurring on the planet right now
• love

and you?

Popularity: 1% [?]

Midterms#2 are COMPLETE. It feels great, though eerie at the same time, as I’m continually checking my planner to see if I’m forgetting to do something. This time around was much smoother than the first. This time I didn’t have any anxiety attacks, and I only cried once. No hives. No unbearable sensations of stress. I felt pressure, and worry, and a degree of fear… but those felt like normal natural feelings. So what’s changed?

In the time since my first round of midterms, I’ve been effectively using my time more wisely and getting a lot done. I have switched to action based mentality, and been successfully not procrastinating. While I still felt like I had a mountain of material to learn for my exams in the several days preceding, I did a better job preparing. Granted I did have a sense of of the professor’s exam style since I already had one under my belt.

I did well on two of the tests, and I haven’t gotten the third one back yet.

I feel like this is a really amazing and unexplored area, of how we can be really successful in the things we’re ALL doing (not just students) and do it without anxiety. I’m keeping a log for future projects.

Bottom line: I feel sane. I feel whole. And I really like being in school.

amazing how much can change in taking almost two years off from college. I have such an appreciation for what I am studying since I have the consciousness to remember that I am choosing to be there.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Philip from lovingraw.com has a series of inspiring youtube videos about the raw lifestyle, and recently he did on about exercise. I want to share it because I think he’s dead on with his approach, which boils down to: do what works for you, find something you love. I’ve been an on/off exerciser since I was in high school, and for the past two years have been far more steadily “on.” Part of what works though, is that I don’t freak out if I miss several days. Being in school and dealing with a huge amount of stress, I’ve also found more powerful motivation to exercise than for my body shape. (Exercising for vanity is hard because it sucks. There’s no power in it)… The less stressed I feel, the better I feel, so I am VERY motivated to move my body as much as possible. Anyway, Philip has great energy and he’s a pleasure to watch. I highly recommend all of his videos. Enjoy!

[many thanks to Dhru over at We Like it Raw who initially turned me onto this video]

Popularity: 1% [?]

Is it week five? I’ve only been keeping track by this blog.

As usual, local eating doesn’t feel so unique. I have fallen in love with my old friend the cameo apple. Normally I’m a macintosh girl, but the cameos this year are amazing.  But the cameo is simply the perfect apple: tart, sweet, and extremely crisp. (I feel like an old lady blogging about socks.)

I got a big box of fruit again (20 lb) but i’m not really feeling the pears so sadly it isn’t being eaten quite yet. They’re the green d’anjou’s and I find them too sweet. anything I can do with them?

My meals are far too simple and boring to blog about them. When I have time I’ll make something beautiful from local ingredients, but for now it is still salads, soup, and smoothies.

[p.s. I am so sorry I have been absent for so long! I promise I will be back soon — my tests end (for now) this coming Tuesday so I should have some time. My mind is overflowing with thoughts and ideas so stay tuned!]

image via jacklail.com 

Popularity: 1% [?]

Have you seen Crazy Sexy Cancer? It was running on TLC for a while. If you haven’t, the creator and star of the documentary has been on Oprah and is even writing a great blog! Kris Carr is a vibrant young woman, who has taken her own health and enjoyment of life into her own hands, despite being diagnosed with a rare and incurable cancer. I absolutely loved her film, and when I read her blog it makes me want to jump around and accomplish all of my dreams, and includes hours of educational, entertaining, and inspiring information.

Dhrumil of We Like it Raw also did a great interview with Ms. Carr, and has audio footage of her visit on Oprah.

Check it out!

Popularity: 89% [?]

This week I earned some squash points by trying about the adorable delicata squash. I chose it by happen stance when a chatty woman started raving to me about how delicious they are and recommended I bake it whole. So when I got home I washed one, poked a few holes, and popped it in the oven. It took 30-40 minutes to bake, and I then sliced it in half and scooped out the seeds.

I really like these. They are easy to cook, rich and sweet in taste, and I feel that they taste the most delicious eaten plain. When I tried butter and salt it really took away from the flavor. And it was as easy as baking a potato!

Popularity: 1% [?]