Hello, Sunshine.

 Here is a little fun fact, directly from Fit Sugar.

New research has found that nearly 30% of business owners with companies over $1 million in revenues say they exercise every day. What’s more? Female business owners are five times more likely than males to come up with their best ideas while exercising.

So next time you’re feeling a lack of creativity or motivation at work, try a power workout instead of a power lunch.

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I’ve been posting less because school just started up again. I’m glad to be back (I’m one of those people who like school!) and it’s all overwhelming at the same time. I’ve been confronted with an old issue that I really thought I had eliminated from my life. Fear I am not good enough. Or, as it translates into my academic life, fear that I am not smart enough to succeed in math. It’s a funny fear you know, because it’s not true. At some point back in the day I got the notion that I was bad at math. And that belief has stuck with me for many years, causing agony as I struggled though countless math courses. In reality, I had a few bad teachers, close to non-existent study habits, and such a profound belief that I couldn’t do math that it was almost impossible for me to focus on assignments. I had moments of loving math, of feeling like I could do anything, but they were fleeting — only lasting until something else proved I couldn’t do math.

So I got to college and had really forgotten about my feelings about math. I needed to take it so I started in a pre-calc class.. and royally freaked out. I hadn’t looked at a number in close to three years and the material was moving far too fast for me. I bombed the first test (confirming my belief I suck at math) and dropped the course. I needed to pass it though, so I took it this summer. I had a good teacher and was in a small class. I set myself up for success as much as physically possible, I did my homework, studied, went to office hours, asked questions, etc. And as part of that I had several minor anxiety attacks and one long crying session. …and I got a higher-than average score on the first test. How could that be? I’m supposed to suck at math. My confidence boosted. I continued my assignments, and started to have fun with it.

Second test = second highest score in the class.

Then it really got weird. I started to enjoy my homework and the class. I started to love math. what? me? but you suck at math?

and at the end of the summer, I had a fantastic grade and a love of math. Ah-ha I have proven I am not bad at math! I have won! I have conquered my fear.

So a new quarter and new schedule, I walk into calc one feeling pretty good because I know I am ready and that I can do it. I encounter a class of “intimidating” students (freshmen who took AP calculus!), a really nice professor, and one group worksheet with a topic i have never seen before in my life. and I freak out. I should switch to another class. I’m going to fail! oh my god. my grade in pre-calc must have been a fluke! I’m going to be eaten alive. I can’t do this.

Tonight I had a talk with a close friend and she said quite poignantly, “When are you going to give that up?” there is nothing behind this but fear. the facts only predict that I will in fact be sucessful this class (it’s calculus one, not rocket science). and it’s not bigger than I am. not math. not my fears.

it keeps coming up over and over, the universe is begging me to just handle it already. And, starting today, right now, I know that I am good at math.

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This is an old quiz that I recently looked up to see how my results had changed after some differences in how I live now (no car, walking mostly, etc). Thought I would share because even after all the pat-myself-on-the-bag eco things I do in my own life, we would still (according to this calculator) need 1.6 Earths if everyone lived like me. Yikes. I suppose it’s good though that my Earths are down from closer to 2.6 the first time I took it!

So, if everyone lived like you, how many Earths would it take to sustain you?

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It seems “pretty” is the unintentional theme for this week. I came across a lovely post about discovering beauty from the blog Mom on a Wire.

The author is very honest, and I connected with many of the things she shares. Here is part of the post, and you’ll have to click below to read the full story (which i fully recommend!):

I was brushing my teeth last night, leaning over the sink and examining my pores in the mirror, when I noticed something. It was so shocking, so unexpected, that I actually dropped my toothbrush and just stood there, staring at my reflection. I blinked. And then I said it out loud because an important truth like this should never be kept inside: “I am a pretty girl.”

I’ve been waiting to feel pretty my whole life. I always knew I would someday, I’ve always had the impression that my body is like a fine wine, or a particularly smelly cheese: I just get better with age. I remember perching on the bathroom counter at fourteen, feet in the empty sink basin and knees drawn up to my chest, sobbing deep, nauseating, gut wrenching sobs. I hated my body, I hated my face, I hated my hair, I hated myself. Because at a time in a young person’s life when the only thing that matters is belonging to the herd, I didn’t. And I felt like I never would. “You’re gross,” I would snarl at my reflection. “You’re disgusting and ugly. No one loves you and no one ever will.” It hurt to feel those things, to look into the black hole of my future and imagine feeling that way forever. But somewhere, deep inside, I didn’t really believe it. There was something more than hope, something stronger, that told me things would be different someday. That I would belong and be loved and be okay. I figured I would wake up on my fortieth birthday and suddenly feel beautiful. After all, aren’t the women who have survived the terror of their teens, the uncertainty of their twenties, and the confusion of their thirties the most stunning creatures you’ve ever seen? I couldn’t wait to turn forty and it shone like a beacon in my future, this wonderful thing I was waiting for. I settled down to let the years pass.

So what changed? What has made me realize, at the tender and uncertain age of twenty-four, that I am a pretty girl? After all, I still don’t run with the herd.

To read the rest click here.

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 Continuing with the theme from yesterday, the lyrics to Ani Difranco’s song Not a Pretty Girl are below. Ani Difranco embodies the media image of a real woman, and has not used pretty to get her any success. (Though she is quite beautiful, that isn’t a factor in her success) At 37, Difranco has released 17 albums, created her own record label, is an underground indie/folk icon, has received several awards, and has used her music and celebrity to lend voice to various political and social organizations. How much would she have accomplished if she had waited to be recognized for being pretty.

This is one of my favorite Ani songs. While I’m not a huge fan of reading lyrics, Ani is a poet as much as a singer or lyricist so I think they’re enjoyable on paper and set to music.

I am not a pretty girl
that is not what I do
I ain’t no damsel in distess
and I don’t need to be rescued
so put me down punk
maybe you’d prefer a maiden fair
isn’t there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere

I am not a pretty girl
I don’t want to be a pretty girl
no I want to be more than a pretty girl

For more check out Ani’s Myspace or her website.

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[The inspiring blog post this is in response to]

Excerpt from original post : Now, this may seem strange from someone who writes about pretty dresses (mostly) every day, but: You Don’t Have to Be Pretty. You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked “female”.  

Amazing how we live in a pretty culture. I was looking at some recent pictures, and I shuddered as I came across one where I looked unattractive, thinking “how embarrassing.” Yet why should  be embarrassed of a bad picture? Who do I owe pretty to? Why is being pretty so damn important to me?
Pretty won’t get me a job. Leave me fulfilled when I go to sleep at night. It won’t serve the world. It won’t nourish friendships. Won’t maintain a relationship. It won’t raise children. Pretty won’t make people laugh. It won’t acknowledge your parents. It won’t bring in money (except in rare occasions). Pretty is an adjective.

When I could choose descriptive words to describe me, such as hilarious, quirky, striking, generous, compassionate, radiant, thoughtful, stunning, lovely, warm, charming, delightful, sexy, bright, intelligent, witty, and adventurous: Why the hell would I choose pretty as the ultimate compliment? 

I’m not saying that being pretty is negative or something to avoid. I love to walk out into the day and to feel pretty. To feel comfortable in my own skin and like I look good to the world. I smile more, send out positive vibes, and receive them back. But it’s more of a feeling than an actual thing. Nobody gives me pretty and nobody can take it away. It comes from inside.

Ani Difranco sums it up brilliantly: I am not a pretty girl. I don’t want to be a pretty girl. No I want to be more than a pretty girl. 

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I plan to write more at another time about my adventures with raw foods and the many other healthy diets I have eaten in my life…

For now, I simply want to post these pictures of delicious food, that happened to be raw.

Anyone who thinks they must follow a “diet” to lose weight and feel healthy, I would like to present the world of raw. Healthy, delicious, sexy, colorful, flavorful, and uncooked!

A slice of the strawberry cream pie I made for my mom…

Zucchini Angel Hair Marinara and Salad

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While normally I read blogs devoted to topics on body image or celebrities, recently I have been loving eco-blogs. i.e. blogs devoted to all things environmental. I consider myself a concerned citizen for the environment and someone who makes Earth-positive choices. But, when I read about the commitments and choices that some of these eco-bloggers are taking it really challenged me to step up my game.

One particular such blog, is Envirowoman, who writes Living Plastic Free. (see link also in my blogroll) Envirowoman has made a commitment to (literally) live plastic free with strict rules and diligence for all of 2007. This is an incredible feat, as reading her blog has shown me. We live in a world essentially run by plastic, so swearing off of it is challenging. It has made me open my eyes to the enormous amount of plastic I personally use, that of course is recycled, but remains a huge waste none the less. And I try to buy as little as possible! How much is everyone else using?

Making the simple choice to use less plastic has shown me how much I really use. Every produce item at Trader Joe’s comes in packaging. Even at other stores, all berries, grapes, soft fruits are in plastic. All take-out containers from restaurants are plastic. Even many restaurants use plastic containers to serve their food. Coffee cup lids. Bottled water is a huge issue for me, because I refuse to drink from the tap in my old apartment building, but I don’t know of a good plastic-free alternative. Even clothing — polyester, nylon, spandex, etc, ALL are derived from plastic. And these are just the obvious items. Envirowoman will let you know about many lesser known plastic evils.

I highly recommend Envirowoman’s blog… Even if we’re not all ready to make a plastic-free commitment, we CAN decrease it significantly.

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I came across “Faking It” because it was featured on the rotund.

I enjoyed it. I think they make some good points about the effect of ads on the body image and sexuality of young girls. Certainly not the sole issue, but definitely one of them.

More info at Women’s Forum Australia.

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Lily Allen makes some great points about body image in this interview.

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