Hello, Sunshine.

shameful confession: I love top 40 music and I listen to it all the time. I was completely surprised though when on two separate occasions the DJs said offensive things that I keep forgetting to write about. Here goes.

offense 1:

The DJ is talking about giving away tickets for a Jordan Sparks concert, and he says, “So y’all know that Jordan Sparks is a big woman, I mean, really big. So if you want to win these tickets give me a call and guess what she weighs.”

Then DJ 2 jumps in with a guess that is over 25o+ pounds.

DJ 1 responds with, “Yeah, maybe when she was 13.”

offense 2:

The DJ is talking about giving away Sara Bareilles tickets. He says, “…I like Sara Bareilles, she’s ok. Not as attractive as she should be, but she’s ok…”

I feel so gross about both of those comments, I’m not going to say anything further.

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Somehow I’ve never gotten around to writing about this, but for the past year I have been practicing intuitive eating. Many people come to it when they’re sick of diets that don’t work, but I actually never dieted because I already knew they didn’t work. Instead, I was a master of creating detailed “lifestyle projects” that I would pledge to in the hopes of solving all of my problems. It was my own form of perfectionist dieting and overall hell. I was in misery. For several years I was obsessed with fixing my life through my diet, feeling like a constant failure, gradually gaining weight, compulsive eating, binging, and depressed…So, one day I decided to try to get relief from constant misery by trying something I read about on the internet–eat absolutely whatever you want, when you are hungry. It was really quite terrifying, and I didn’t try it until several months after reading about it.

I decided to try quite slowly, and I had every intention of going back to my plan after three weeks. I still had mountains of restrictions on what I would and would not eat, but I let myself buy cookies (wheat free, gluten free, vegan, sugar free cookies). And, as most people do in this process, I ate the whole box. Several times. In fact for months as I loosened the grips, I “ate the world” and basically just watched Fat Rant on repeat to assure myself that it was ok to gain weight, and I would rather gain 10 pounds that feel miserable and binge constantly. I didn’t gain the world though.

The first few months were the hardest. There were ups and downs. Days when I felt happy, relieved, and calm around my meals. And then days where I would eat compulsively or notice my pants being tighter, and feel anger and shame at myself for eating so many “bad” foods. And, I still had a ton of restrictions. Some good (like tested food allergies), and some less good (old habits dying hard). But, I was making baby steps. I would notice the things that would trigger relapses into old habits of devising fancy plans, and try to look at the trigger, instead of the plan.

Today it has been over a year. And, the verdict is that I feel absolutely fantastic! Its a process without a finite finish line where I am free from food issues, but today I feel good. Progress includes: I don’t freak out about my meals and when I’m going to eat next. My weight has stabilized within about a five pound range, and while I still strive to make peace with what I see in the mirror, stability feels really good. I enjoy food again! Sometimes I overeat, sometimes I don’t eat quite enough, but most of the time I feel satisfied with what I ate. Episodes of binging have subsided to rare occurrences, and I can recognize emotional eating more quickly. And sometimes I emotionally eat, but I do it with consciousness and care for the greater emotional issues. I’m significantly nicer in the way I talk to myself, and much more comforting. I am a lot less stressed.

And, it’s still something I work on daily. The negative thoughts and anxiety still appear when I’m presented with “bad” foods. But they come and go more quickly and gently. I think what I love most is enjoying food again. I have embraced the enemy, and now it’s about feeding my desires and nurturing myself. I find that most often, my honest self desires are boring and monotonous (and totally delicious) things.

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so I cannot properly introduce this video and how clever I think it is…. so here you are — pure brilliance

(via Kate Harding)

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I honestly have a certain love for fashion magazines. I like to look at them… really, really closely. What are they saying to me? what are they telling me to feel? How are they portraying women? Here is a peek at Glamour, April 2008:

138 fashion models are featured in ads throughout the 362 page magazine

1 is Asian

7 are Hispanic

6 are African American

124 are Caucasian

(In defense of Glamour, there is significantly more diversity in the models used for the spreads and articles)

The cover promises “Major Beauty Miracles”

(… how many women are honestly in need of a miracle in their appearance?)

The magazine offers articles on how to learn to:

-mix prints like a pro

-make vests more feminine

-wear the seasons HOTTEST COLORS

-find your perfect bra

-find your best haircolor

…..(tres original i say)

1 advertisement featuring plus-sized models

1 genuinely interesting article with Eve Ensler interviewing Salma Hayek. I liked this.

1 advertisement featuring a white picket fence, all American, white mom, white dad, 2 children image

at least 1 ad for prescription birth control; 1 for std control

2 ads for cosmetic surgery

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When I travel, I like to buy a magazine. I don’t read them often but it’s a long standing tradition I have with myself, and it always proves to amuse and enlighten, particularly by looking at the ads. On my most recent trip, I picked the Marie Claire with a pregnant Cristina Aguilara on the cover. No reason except that I find MC to be less offensive than some of the others.

I didn’t think much of the photos at first. I thought that she looks beautiful, despite it being an odd juxtaposition to see a very pregnant woman in such a sexual glamorous pose. Tonight my friend picked it up from the bookshelf, and remarked on how airbrushed the photos look, and how she doesn’t look pregnant at all if not for the baby mound. I looked at the photos again and imagined them from a different angle — how about that of a real pregnant woman, looking at this magazine and having thoughts that SHE should look more like THAT. That perhaps SHE had gained too much weight, that she should look different, that she was doing something wrong. In a time when a woman’s body is changing and vulnerable, it seems unfair that a magazine print images with such unrealistic and sexual connotations of pregnancy.

I don’t think I would find such fault with the MC photos if they weren’t so air brushed. Seeing a thin and beautiful pregnant woman isn’t necessarily going to breed negative self-esteem. I found Demi Moore’s nude pregnant cover on Vanity Fair to be beautiful and authentic.

So is it just me, or what is it about these Christina Aguilara photos that just seem off?

[p.s. this is way old, i forgot to post it…]

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observation:

there are many many women wearing lingerie, bikinis, or otherwise sexually suggestive articles in their MYSPACE photos

why?

it’s as if there is a whole culture of bikini models/naughty nurses/pornography stars are attempting to break into the biz thru online networking –

– one photo at a time

I have no issue with the photos themselves

it just makes me ask:

why are we (women) putting this image out?  why are we so into degrading ourselves?

is it for the attention?

is it the power in feeling sexy?

are these actual models wanting to get into the lingerie business?

i dont get it. nor do I understand the desire to put it on the internet.

when did being explicitly and obviously beautiful and sexual become the standard we aspire to. what happened to a little mystery?

just a thought.

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Everyone knows beauty magazines don’t promote a healthy body image. I wanted to look closer though….Inspired by glossed over, I decided to really look at the images presented to millions of women everyday. This months pick: January 2008 issue of Marie Claire.

7: Number of nude or implied nude images of women

18: Number of photos featured in the 101 outfit idea section

1: Article journaling the impossibility of not having sex for 30 days (who had this idea? really…)

57: Number of “smart beauty buys” i.e. items conveyed as not being advertisements, even though they are

0: Number of plus-sized models (or real people)

2: articles addressing addiction to cosmetic procedures

1: ad for breast implants

44 total models or staff members featured

41 White

1 Asian

1 Black (Halle Berry)

1 Hispanic (Salma Hayek)

More diversity among the REAL people featured…

(note: I use the term “other” only to distinguish that I didn’t want to presume the race of one model, and that she is not white or black)

So what can we conclude here? Just the obvious.

1) Overwhelming majority of white people featured in ads, models in articles, and second highest among the “real people.”

2) Especially among the models in articles, there was hardly even a runner up. It’s unbelievable that major celebrities would be the only people of color featured in all of the articles.

3) There are many mostly nude images of women

4) All of the women are thin

5) This magazine is not depicting anything close to the real world.

6) While not reading magazines is probably the best solution, someday I hope to see diversity on the pages, in the articles, in the ads. People with real non-airbrushed bodies, of every shape and size. Articles about actual issues, not promoting the notion of plastic surgery. Reality, or at least something like it.

We could ignore the images bombarding us constantly, but sometimes, if you look closer, the true absurdity can be the revealed.

(Please contact me if you would like to use these graphs for other purposes)

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I have been tagged with a blogging award! this seems so anti-climactic since I only noticed after checking this very neglected site weeks after dear Connie at Naked Food Cafe tagged me –  thank you Connie!

Anyway, i’m not going to follow the rules. I don’t really want to tag people, and many of the blogs I frequent have already received this lovely award. I will, however, note some of the blogs that I adore, in no particular order:

•  We Like It Raw. Love it, can’t get enough, always.
• Raw Model. Anthony is really cool, one of my favorite writers and a surefire dose of inspiration for your day.
• Every Woman has an Eating Disorder. Not cynical like it sounds - Dr. Stacy is a psychologist and works on all things disorder related, very insightful posts that are light (unlike the title might seem).
• Kate Harding. The queen of fat acceptance bloggers, and she is hardcore and has opinions that rocked me at first. but I like seeing what she has to say, even if she does scare me.
• Back in Skinny Jeans. Stephanie is really really honest, and I like that.
• Size Ate. A woman of the theater who has a show I have yet to see, she blogs abogs about body image and other random things of interest, with a light and funny style.
• Fat Free Vegan. I’ve honestly never tried any of the recipes, but the pictures are pretty.
• Courtney Pool. I started to read her juice feasting blog, and she is a girl totally living on the edge, authentic, and pursuing her passions in raw food and life. I check her site daily and just WISH i could be a teeny bit more like her.

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Joy Nash at it again!

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Somewhere along the line, it became common knowledge that Marilyn Monroe wore a size 16, and since she is a beauty icon, that notion is dropped to make women feel better about their curvy figures. “If Marilyn Monroe wore it, then I should feel good about my size!” Now I don’t disagree with that statement, I think it’s wonderful that she was not a lollipop head icon. However I also find it disempowering to compare myself to Marilyn Monroe because 1) I do not look like her, 2) She had ungodly hourglass proportions.

Additionally, if you use your eyes and look at her, she clearly would not have worn a modern day size 16.

Now it is possible that she wore a size 16. Taking vanity sizing into account, it a size 16 then would probably be a six or an eight today.

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