Hello, Sunshine.

It’s actually chilly tonight, post-rain in the middle of summer heat.. I’m enjoying the fresh air on the patio as I type this. Since Saturday I have been reluctantly relishing the joy of doing nothing. My family has made this quite easy by constantly occupying the vehicles, making it impossible for me to be busy or go anywhere. It’s weird to leave the feverish pace of finals to one that is so much slower.

The school year is complete (for this year anyway)! What an accomplishment. I got my spring quarter grades today online, which makes it truly over. I did better than I had hoped, though not quite to the same standard of my first two quarters. Letting go of perfectionism is one of my lessons recently, so I have ample opportunity to practice in relation to my grades. I did my best, which is really what counts.

Its weird to be home with my family. Thats another story for another day though.  I miss my independence, and I feel like a little kid at moments. It’s also a time of endings and new beginnings, creating what happens next.

I need this break very dearly right now. I’ve been in school for the last five quarters without a break, and it was time to take some time off. I’m going to be busy as the summer continues, so to take several days entirely to myself feels priceless.

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I tend to get a tremendous urge to write whenever I have finals and exams looming overhead. It’s also a time where I suddenly find motivation to clean (particularly small nooks, crannies, and high shelves), write love letters, watch movies, make intricate recipes with exotic ingredients, and re-arrange drawers. It is a really wonderful feeling to reach final exams, because it means classes are finished, I get to sleep in, and I am just hours away from being done (in this case, for the whole freaking summer). But it’s also a time when resistance digs its claws in, and unnatural motivation must be summoned for each study hour.  Freedom and relaxation are so close I can taste it, why would I want to study?

I don’t have a recipe for success to handle the ants-in-your-pants-jumping-out-of-your-skin for summer situation, unfortunately. If I did, I probably wouldn’t be writing this at all and I would be studying for statistics. What I can say though, which actually works for me, is that the best thing to do is to honor the intense desire to be finished, and let that fuel you through finals. You can’t really fight it, resistance is futile. But by giving in to the joy at the end of the road, that can charge you through all of the reading, writing, and studying that must occur in order to be done.

With that, I am back to the books.

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I have somewhat returned! And, to the several spam-bloggers who track keywords on the internet… I am glad you’re still reading. Yes, I officially suck at blogging.

I’ve been really feeling the lack on inspiration, and having some major ups and downs in the real world. So, despite the writers block, I’m going to have to write what I know.

In lieu of my crazy life, the thought on my mind is about when you’re in college and you have several projects/exams/papers all exploding at once and you have a catastrophe in your personal life–how do you cope? This of course applies to those with real jobs too. It happens to everyone.

I don’t have one answer, because in all honestly I would probably say that I pull through and just do my best. I am not someone who can usually pull off a 4.0, and write stellar papers while I wipe the tears from my eyes. I just accept that some things are more important than school. And having time for my emotions is critical.

But, what about when its about passing or failing? A few things that work for me:

-schedule set time, at a set place for working. even just in little blocks, like 20 minutes. set other specific times to be with the difficult stuff. so I call my sister, watch tv, take a walk, do whatever to rest my mind

-keep going! even if mentally I feel like I am failing myself, and not doing well enough, I just keep doing the above… because usually, when a real deadline is looming, i can get over it for long enough to handle the work and then get back to feeling

-if it is just too much…drop it. talk to your professor, boss, school counselors, parters, whoever and see if you can work something out. You can always re-take a dropped class!

If you have any thoughts or experiences please share

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I’m going to start posting about college/ending high school from time to time. I really wish I had had someone sane to talk to during the college application process. I recall everyone in my senior class flipping out over it, filled with indecision and worry. There is a lot of fear of making the wrong choices, so I would like to share some of my experiences and insights having survived the application process and as a happy college student.

-choosing a college isn’t that big of a deal. It might seem like you’re committing to marry an institution for the next four years, but the reality is that MANY people transfer. I did. So did all of the girls in my group of friends from freshman year. It’s a pain, but I can say every single one of us is happier at our current schools.  It can be really hard to know a school before attending it. Tours, overnights, and talking to students all certainly help, but you can’t know a school until you’ve attended it. That said, choose the place you resonate with most, and understand its not a big deal to change your plans.

-do you WANT to go to college? Thats a loaded question for most kids who are financially able to attend university, because we have this whole notion that a degree is an absolute must to ever have a job. That is certainly true if you desire a traditional job. But is a traditional job for you? Does college make you cringe? Is it the last thing you want to do? If that is you, consider the fact that not everyone has to go to school, or start immediately after finishing high school. If thoughts of college make ya nauseous, consider these ideas:

• Look into less traditional schools. Lecture halls with 300 students aren’t for everyone, and there are some great schools where that isn’t the norm. For example, Hampshire (Massachusetts) and Evergreen State College are examples of schools where each student designs their own curriculum and is are graded with written evaluations, not letter grades. My older sister went to Hampshire and she said that she was much more prepared for graduate school with everything she had learned working independently there. Also schools like Oberlin, Vassar, The Eugene Lang New School for Liberal Arts, Reed, and many others are worth looking into.
• Consider taking a year abroad before starting college. I know many students who have done this, and I couldn’t recommend it more. Going abroad is life-altering, and it’ll allow you to grow up, and find more possibilities. When I was abroad, I found a wider scope of possibility for myself; once I was out of my little home bubble, I saw that there are lots of amazing people and cool opportunities out there.
• Take a gap year and get a job. Being in the real world is a huge opportunity to see what you want to do, and what credentials you will need to accomplish it.
• Is college not for you? That is certainly possible. I know several very successful individuals who don’t have a degree. They are highly motivated, goal oriented people though. But you could be a chef, write books, teach classes, be a motivational speaker, and run your own business without a degree. This option is definitely not for everyone, but I like to remind people it exists. Keep in mind though, that even if its the right path for you, skills such as writing and basic math are extremely important so a few college classes would probably be useful.

If you definitely WANT to go to school, but you just don’t know where that is perhaps a trickier situation:

•  Ask yourself what you love, right now. If you imagine this past week, when were you happiest (nont including sleeping, tv, or the weekend)? When someone asked me this question during my senior year of high school, I stared at her for several minutes unable to find anything. Until I saw the sole time — during French class. It was the only thing in school that I loved. So I based by college search around French, and study abroad opportunities. It is not what I’m doing now, but it was where I had to start. If you start with what you love, and stay committed to following what you love, you will find your best school, best degree, and best job. So find the thing you think you love most, and research that, pursue that.
• Think about logistics. It may sound cliche, but thinking about where you will be most comfortable is essential. Do you want to stay close, or get away? If you imagine a big school, would you find it comforting to have a degree of anonymity or do you want everyone to know your name? Are you overwhelmed by  crowds? Do you want to be able to live off campus, do you want to stick with a meal plan, do you want to be able to provide your own food? Think about what you want, because every college has different options for its students. Some schools are very isolated, some very urban. It’s important to find your comfort zone.
• Talk to as many people as possible. Talk to people who went to the school, or ideally who attend it currently. Ask them the questions that you have. Talk to their advisers, and find out more about their programs and opportunities.

Mostly, I would just encourage students to find somewhere they feel happy. To follow their joy. It might seem ideological, but it works. All of the wildly successful and happy people that I know follow this principle. Feel free to ask any questions by e-mail or comments and I’ll happily respond.

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