Hello, Sunshine.

The other day I had a moment.

I’ve had a building sensation since I turned 20 that life was on fast forward and I was on the wrong route. It was unsettling, and I felt powerless. I like what I am doing in my life, but it never seemed like “enough.” It seemed like the week went by so fast I hardly had a moment to notice… anything. At night I thought, “One more day gone forever.” (Unhappy, right?)

Then the moment.

In a sleepless moment, lying in bed, I realized it was one more day I had the privelege to experience. It was one more day I got to enjoy. And the next morning, I thought, “Today is one more day I get to love. To do my best.” And there was a shift. A total shift. Suddenly I felt in control again, and a huge surge of gratitude for each day that I get to have.

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I know 2008 doesn’t start for a few days, but I did my main completion for 2007 on the winter solstice (the 21st). It’s an energetically powerful day, and it just felt like the right time (especially since I never feel like doing anything of this sort on new years eve). So how to complete a whole year?

I like to keep it simple. This is my tradition:

I lit a small candle and grabbed several blank pieces of paper. Then one by one, I wrote down all of the things that I wanted to release from 2007. Sickness. Loneliness. Discontent with myself. Then I thanked each item for the role it played in my year, and burned it in the fire place. I followed each one with writing my positive intention for the coming year.

The whole process is really healing. This has been a really hard year. I’ve been tested in what felt like every way possible, and at times things felt unbearable. There was a lot I had on my chest to let go, and it felt really good to watch these negatives shrivel to ash in the fire place. A lot of good has happened to, and I used those moments with the candle to express my gratitude for that. Gratitude is really where it’s at…So thank you 2007 for everything, and I’m really ready to start this coming year!

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Autumn Quarter is OVER.

This quarter was intense. I am really glad to be finished, and by the time finals rolled around I had only minimal to moderate stress because I was too exhausted to care much. I don’t have my final grades yet but I think it all went well.

The biggest thing that helped with my anxiety was prayer and visualization. Call me crazy, but it works. Every night I would visualize myself studying, taking my tests, and doing very well while remaining calm. I imaged reading questions that I didn’t know how to solve, and working them out (instead of panicking!). And before every test, I would say a prayer. I would ask for help from someone greater than me. While I’m not religious it seemed like the appropriate thing to do.

So i immediately jumped into this four day baby course, giving me little time to kick back… but I’m okay with that. I didn’t wear myself out so much that I feel wiped out. I just feel like I could use some sleep…

All in all: I worked incredibly hard, learned a LOT in both knowledge and about myself, discovered many ways to reduce my test anxiety, tried several new things, and met some interesting people. It was a good quarter.

I will do a celebration dance for a job well done…

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Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. What are you grateful for?

Right now I’m present to being thankful for…

• Friends and family, even if they’re really far away
• liking school
• the farmers market & their amazing greens
• my sister, in all of her amazingness and how she continues to inspire me and make me laugh
• finding contentment in things that were previously unhappy
• green juice!!
• All of the healing occurring in myself
• all of the healing occurring on the planet right now
• love

and you?

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Oh yeah. I know what I’ll be doing first thing tomorrow morning…

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During a middle school summer vacation, my dad gave my sister and I little business-like notebooks and suggested we write ten things we were grateful for from that day. I recall feeling very angsty at such a suggestion, and resenting it though I filled it out daily, probably because my dad offered us small amounts of cash if we did it for a month. I remember at that age how HARD it seemed for me to come up with ten unique things daily that I felt grateful for. It seemed like a cop out to say, “I’m grateful for my dad. I’m grateful for my mom. etc” every single day (I thought the purpose of the exercise was to find unique things daily). Slowly I gave up on it because it seemed too challenging, but it’s a practice I have come back to time and time again. Something that I find to be the most deeply rewarding, and to be a surefire way to get a grip with reality and count my blessings! No matter how upset I might feel over something trivial or significant, writing down ten things I am grateful for is a very powerful practice to bring me back to a higher flow.

So, why does this practice make you happier, peaceful, and more abundant? Well, quite simply because what you focus on expands. The more you can relish and appreciate exactly what is present in your life at this moment, the more you will get! For example:

Today I am grateful for…

• feeling strong and invigorated during & after yoga class
• the fun and joy Harry Potter has brought to my life these past few days
• becoming healthier every day
• warm cool summer weather
• solving “difficult” math problems with ease and joy
• the creative flow that blogging has brought to my life, creating such joy and delight and balance
• all of the abundance in my life
• outflowing some tears, and reaching a closer level of friendship with someone close to me
• the health and joy that my family is experiencing in each of their lives right now
• having the freedom to relax this summer and really figure out what I want to be doing
• everything and all things in my life that I have not clearly articulated in this list - I am grateful for it all!

What are you grateful for today?

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